With all its maleability, relativity, and incessant demands and gifts, Time (here, briefly elevated to capital prominence) can be both friend and foe. “Either/or” being a western view of reality and containing judgment is yielding to “both/and”, a more eastern view, and it contains within itself discernment, balance, fluidity, and may contribute to happiness and lead to acceptance and contentment. I am recognizing the value of this as well as the beauty often found in a long sentence full of clauses and pauses and modifiers and meaning . . .
Nearly everyone I mostly trust is telling me that “these things” take time. On one hand they have no idea what “these things” are to me, supposing that since I have experienced the traumas of a failed first marriage, being asked to leave a church I liked and served in, various surgeries, and ongoing recovery from addictive tendencies, particularly alcohol, that those are the things that cause pain in my life. These things are but symptoms, and I am learning not to suffer so much while sitting with the actual pain that is contextually inevitable (having acquired the formula “Pain + Resitance = Suffering”), accepting it rather than resisting it. Nothing helps anyway. Time? Do tell . . . and please don’t drag it out much longer. I am still hoping and trusting beyond all rationality, clinging to The Creator and his promise by sheer faith alone.
That is quite enough for two paragraphs and the radio announcer has currated perfection:
Just now it is Schubert’s Symphony No. 8, the “Unfinished”, ideal for more than an idea that is yet to be completed.
Next it is Grieg’s Ich liebe dich and I ever shall.
It continues, the music, in perfect reply with John Dowland’s If My Complaints Could Passions Move.
She had already announced that tonight it will be Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 2, and of course, of course in such music lie the “the assurance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen”, and it brings a smile that tells me it’s gonna be okay after all.
And in advance, as I may be unable to make it more timely later, I wish for you on this day
Photograph “Time away is only a place.” © 2019 Timothy Waugh