Oh God, seriously?

Is this even possible, because it’s me? I am a nomad, right? A Bedouin, a savage, a “red nigger” if you want to get right down to it. So, is it even possible to domesticate this hunter? Okay, let’s say it’s possible.

But is it permissible, really, considering the holy, ordained, envisioned, prophesied, and glorious Three (The Three is Fixed, Done. But then, settle or wander? I (we???) can go either way, but I am really gonna have to know what you want here, God, okay? Do you want us to (ugh) settle? I can do that. Exhibit one: I just put in a maintenance request to get some work done in the front door of my new digs).

I mean, really God, I could have done it myself but they did not install the correct size of knob and latch, so it is a safety issue. That’s what they call these things, “safety issues”.

I do not give a rat’s ass, believe me, about safety issues. And Excusez mon français but it’s a rat we are talking about. There are the worlds, known and unknown, to be conquered and I am putting in a maintenance request . . .

I can do it this way, but you gotta let me know. Please.

This is my maintenance request.

Meanwhile, I have this great idea for making end tables using empty Amazon Prime boxes, and it involves decoupage. Oh, yeah, I am into it.

Or, if there is a world out there to conquer, I can do that too. Just let me know.


“Me @ 59” © 2018 Timothy Waugh

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