I already heard back from you God. I went into my kitchen and looked around and thought that if I could set up a kitchen, given this particular space, then I’d set it up just about like this:
And that’s when I heard from you.
You reminded me what you had told me quite a while ago. I was supposed to pass it on at some point, and then I forgot, and then you did the thing where you give me a truth, but I have not lived it yet, and usually I say it anyway and then in good fashion you test me in it, but this time I did not pass it on. I did not say it; I sat on it. I did not describe it.
[Weeks, months? ago I had this tidy blog piece (draft) about how you shouldn’t feel any kind of bad when things are good. I had terms from psychology with -phobia attached. I had scripture. I had it all. Like I said, it was tidy. But the gist is this: that God is benevolent to those who give themselves to (allow themselves to be taken by) HIM. It’s a law, a promise, a rule, a whatever. It just is. So, if you do . . . then He does . . . and you: don’t do it. You don’t make it happen, it happens, and you must not feel any kind of bad.]
And so I had that truth, and it was not tested exactly, it just came to pass. You, God, gave it to me because it was meant for me. Earlier, I had thought it was for others or another, really is what I was thinking, but all the while it was for me.
Yep IHNI (if you are just tuning in, it’s I Have No Idea).
So, all of that to say that I am still off, recovering from surgery and that I woke up way before 2:22 a.m. this time, but I am going to go back to sleep. My kitchen is okay, you should see it sometime, and my stereo which I have upgraded slightly, retaining all of my classic components too, has been playing Steely Dan, Deacon Blues, long before dawn and the songbird.
And you should come over to listen sometime too.
I like Steely Dan a lot, and I have actually played covers of some of their songs in a jazz band in another life. But there is one song, (I already wrote this a long time ago) that says it for me.
Forget the dime dancing . . .
“I run to you . . .”
Oh, and do not make fun of me, but I learned to do decoupage a little while ago by trial, error, and success. It just needs to dry now.
Photograph “Alive” © 2018 Timothy Waugh