Dear God, this is not easy.

Dear God,

For all my talk (and writing), I have my moments—meaning non-moments, of course, cuz the moments are sweet . . .

I do have a fairly fine walk too, I know that and seriously it’s by your power and I give you all honor and all the rest.

And forget what I just said. My walk is a disgrace at times! I have screwed up and screwed over way too many times, but I don’t wallow in it. You took care of it, and you take it. I know that, and more. You have already taken what is yet to come. Such is your might. And such is your benevolence.

But, dang it, if you aren’t calling us to some pretty high functioning faith here! This is not run-of-the-mill stuff.

And, yes, I lay it before you and say that it takes me for a ride sometimes.

Here’s the thing: it seems that I am at my best in an active tense. Α verb, that’s me. Do, declare, delight, delish (as a verb), dessert (as a promise), drive. Even deny, in order to do it.

Describe. That’s what I love to do: describe your glory in a way that others can possibly understand, or can’t quite, but it makes them reach for it, wait for it . . .  and then, OMG, they do. They do understand and accept what I know that I know and you smile with them and it is so so wonderful when I see it happen. DEAR GOD, that is what I want to do with this life. Not alone, of course, I need help.

But, I am being forced into a passive voice, even subjunctive at times, and I am not very good at it. Not really very good at it at all.

So, for now, I am just putting it out there for your consideration, Father. I’ll do some reading, pondering, listening, and sure why not some resting too, and then I trust that you will get back to me.